Of all the advice on social media, one sentiment has stuck with me: Being successful is about increasing your opportunity for luck. Whether you’re on the job hunt (good luck, babe), climbing the career ladder, or starting a business, moving forward isn’t just about talent and hard work—serendipity and luck play a major role in everyone’s success story. Sometimes, increasing your visibility means sending a hundred job applications to increase the chance you hear back from one. But more often, it means putting yourself in front of the right people and hoping, in the future, they’ll think of you. But here’s the catch: The most effective way to do this is (cue Jaws theme) networking.
Networking has gotten a bad rap. Something about it feels seedy and self-interested. I’ve definitely left interactions at networking events feeling like I walked into a job interview I wasn’t prepared for. Nightmare scenario. And I’m a people person. Against all odds, I thrive at house parties where I barely know anyone, and I always make friends when traveling solo. But the second you throw the word “networking” in the mix, my skin crawls, and my brain gets busy coming up with excuses to stay home.
However, I’ve gotten to the point in my career when I can’t deny it anymore: The benefits of networking outweigh the full-body ick that comes with the thought of doing it. When done well, networking is about creating relationships. It’s about making yourself memorable. It’s not like an audition; that’s more like an interview. If you network well enough, your good vibes might let you skip the traditional interview process altogether. It’s about showing off the work you’ve already done—kind of like a press tour.
Why I decided to treat networking like a press tour
Somehow, press tours have become some of the most intriguing pop culture events. More than award shows and interviews, the creative ways the entertainment industry has started to market itself is what’s making headlines and keeping us hooked on social media. From Erewhon smoothies to themed outfits—like Margot Robbie’s vintage Barbie references and Zendaya going full tennis-core for Challengers—press tours have to be more inventive than ever to get people to pay attention.
In the same vein, the job market is more competitive than ever. So, I decided to gamify the intimidating process of networking by thinking of it as a press tour. Lots of career advice is about thinking of yourself as a brand, but have you ever thought about yourself as a movie? Anecdotes about your work are like the trailer, and networking can even be fun if it’s a press tour.
While this might sound a little too abstract or a reach, challenging myself to start thinking this way has done the impossible: made me excited for networking events. And since a press tour is made of many different stops, I’ve been going to a lot of events to test this theory, increase my opportunity for luck, and feel a little like Zendaya in the process. Here are the steps I’m taking to press tour-ify networking and a few of the networking tips and lessons I’ve learned along the way:
How to treat networking like a press tour
1. Figure out your goals
Unlike sitting at your computer and tracking job applications, networking can feel fruitless because there is no real way to quantify it. Unless you put your own parameters in place. You can count business cards or tally every conversation you have, but to really feel like the effort is worth it, base your results on your goals.
For example, as a freelance writer, I attend events with other writers, editors, creators, brands, and more. If I were looking for more writing opportunities, a successful night would be one where I connected with an editor. If I were trying to get on more PR lists, I’d find the right contacts to get me the goods. And if I were looking to form a bigger community of writers, I’d go in resolute to make friends with the other creatives who pursue this career, and then ask them to co-work with me sometime.
My current goal is to get better at talking about myself. So, to get there, I’ve been talking to as many people as possible. While I make sure to ask them questions about themselves, I am trying not to lean on my usual habit of focusing on them to avoid talking about myself. Instead, I try to keep the conversation balanced and offer up anecdotes (that aren’t self-deprecating) about my work and my perspective. To me, it’s like the press tour interviews where the celebrities play with puppies or take lie detector tests. Those aren’t strictly about the project they’re working on, but they’re about getting people interested in the actors themselves. In a perfect world, my work would speak for itself. But there are lots of good writers. My goal is to get people interested in me so they can get interested in my writing, not the other way around.
2. Visualize your ideal definition of success
Now that you know what you want from your foray into networking, try to really visualize what success would look like. Is it a new job in a fancy high-rise building where you get to wear a chic blazer and lean into the corporate-core aesthetic? Is it an inbox full of accepted pitches? Is it a standing dinner date with a bunch of new friends in your industry? Get really clear on this visualization. Even make a vision board. Wherever you stand on the idea of manifestation, research shows that visualization boosts confidence. Since 76 percent of people who write down their goals actually achieve them, I like to make a vision board to visualize the career I want—and the path to get there. My most recent vision board has pictures from publications I’d like to write for, but also, you guessed it, pictures from really good press tours. Visualizing how to nail the process is just as important as imagining the end result. Like this whole press tour concept, it’s important to romanticize the journey.
“My goal is to get people interested in me so they can get interested in my writing, not the other way around.”
The key here is specificity. And aligning your vision with your goals. Do your research. Who are the key players in your industry? Whom do you aspire to be like? Who are the people who can make your dreams a reality? Knowing who they are can help you in two ways. First, you can take cues from their trajectories to inspire your own career. But it also helps you know who to talk to. As you do the networking circuit or attend conferences and events, just knowing who is in the room can give you a major leg up.
3. Rehearse your lines
Have you ever noticed that, during press tours, your favorite celebs will often tell the same stories? Over and over, they talk about that one funny moment behind the scenes or the well-rehearsed tale about how they landed the job, prepared for the role, or wrote the song. It’s because they know it’ll work. Those moments are chosen to showcase something about their project that will reel you in and keep you thinking about them. And while I would advise against writing a script and sounding too rehearsed, having some anecdotes on hand can help alleviate your nerves and keep you talking about things that are relevant to your goals—without veering into boring territory.
This is different than an elevator pitch. It’s not a pitch at all. Just keep a few anecdotes in your back pocket alongside a quick explanation of who you are and what you do. I can’t count the times I’ve resorted to the cliche of weather talk because I couldn’t think of something to say. Prepping a couple of illustrative tidbits helps keep my goals front of mind. I’ve been sharing the tale of the time I got a tarot reading on a brand education trip. It reveals a little bit about me, namely my “woo woo” side, while also allowing me to segue into talking about the kind of writing I do and the people I’ve worked with.
4. Create a character — and dress like them
According to experts, when trying to become a new version of yourself, you should act as if you already are the person you want to be. Essentially, fake it until you make it. How does this person spend their days? How do they carry themselves? What do they wear? When coming up with this “press tour” concept, I thought about how the most fun press tours take every opportunity to reference their characters. The aforementioned Barbie and Challengers press tours are prime examples. In both cases, the cast channeled their characters to make audiences connect with the new characters. Ryan Gosling became Ken. Zendaya appeared in the audience of every major tennis match.
In the same way, the version of myself I take to networking events is me but better. She’s a little more polished, and her life looks like my vision boards. To get into character, I dress like a higher version of myself. I didn’t buy a slew of expensive outfits to wear once—this isn’t a real press tour. But I did buy a couple of cool new pieces to get me out of my comfort zone and into character. New clothes also helped me get excited for the first few networking events. No matter how nervous I was, I got a little confidence boost from the feeling of wearing a new outfit.
“I’ve gone from feeling like I’m playing a role every time I step into a room full of potential connections to feeling like this ‘character’ I created really is a version of myself.”
So the feeling doesn’t wear off, I’ve challenged myself to wear the same pieces, styled differently, to each event. It helps give me some continuity: I know I feel confident in this shirt, so I can step into this character every time I wear it. Plus, exploring how to wear it—jeans one night, a pair of mushroom-colored work pants the next, and mary janes the next—makes each night an opportunity for reinvention.
5. Go solo
The hardest thing to get used to about networking: going alone. While bringing a plus-one can help you feel intimidated, it can also keep you from potentially generative conversations. It’s easy to stand in the corner talking to a bestie but remember: We’re trying to give ourselves every opportunity for luck. The people huddled together at these events don’t get approached as much as the other people who are walking around alone. The first couple of times, I FaceTimed my friends before leaving for the event just to get loose and get myself in the mood to yap. You can’t buy the kind of confidence you get from a quick call with someone who knows (and believes in) you.
6. Keep showing up for yourself
The first networking event I approached with this tactic, I was full of apprehension. It took a few tries to successfully work my practiced anecdotes into conversation and make my self-pitch sound natural. But with each interaction, it got a little bit easier. By the end of the first event, I was buzzing. Despite their rocky starts, each conversation I had was way more generative than any other time I had dipped my toes in the networking waters. I found myself looking forward to the next one instead of dreading it.
Just a few months in, I’ve seen a change. I’ve gone from feeling like I’m playing a role every time I step into a room full of potential connections to feeling like this “character” I created really is a version of myself. And she has gotten so good at starting conversations. While my goal of improving my ability to talk about myself is a little hard to measure, I’ve already seen the results. When I sit down to write pitches or warm emails, I sound much more confident over email. I don’t let nerves make me procrastinate my emails, either. I apply the same principles and get a boost of confidence.
7. Embrace your newfound confidence
Confidence has been the main benefit of this exercise. It’s almost impossible to not be confident when channeling Zendaya and Margot Robbie. But one thing I didn’t expect: I don’t really need to imagine being them anymore. Hearing myself say positive things about myself over and over to strangers—and having them respond positively—has given me a major self-esteem boost. This has created a positive feedback loop where because I’m feeling more confident, I have an even better time at networking events, which boosts my confidence even more. Never one for gatekeeping, I’ve told all my friends about the personal and professional growth I’ve seen with this approach, and they’re taking it on, too.
The main benefit of this “press tour” concept is keeping my momentum going. When it comes to networking, your work is never finished. At some point, you become the person people are trying to meet—and that’s what you’re working toward. But something with such abstract benefits can be hard to get out of bed for. But when I’m tempted to bed rot after a day of work instead of putting on my networking outfit and leaving the house, I pump myself up by reopening my vision board and remembering that if I want my life to feel like a movie, I have to go on the press tour.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Langa Chinyoka, Contributing Writer
Langa is a Los Angeles-based writer and strategist. She is currently an editor and content strategist at a marketing agency. Her work has appeared in The Paris Review, British Vogue, Highsnobiety, Eyeswoon, Camille Styles, The Good Trade, and more. More
