There’s a reason the words “believe in yourself” are plastered on classroom signs and cross-stitched on throw pillows. Your sense of self-efficacy, or the belief that you can accomplish what you set out to do – whether that’s finishing a 5K or a master’s degree – plays a huge role in whether or not you succeed, according to experts and research.
While this may seem quite obvious, developing (and, later, maintaining) an I-can-do attitude is easier said than done. A person’s sense of self-efficacy is built up over time as they experience life and, inevitably, failure, says Jessica B. Stern, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist, clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health, and host of SiriusXM’s Doctor Radio. How people respond to messing up a presentation at work or getting their heart broken shapes future success. “Are you able to work through frustration? How you interpret that or extrapolate from that frustration is meaningful,” says Stern. If you always tell yourself that you will fail or that one misstep means you might as well quit altogether, you are less likely to succeed. Unfortunately, improving that self-talk can be a bit more challenging than ordering an inspirational pillow on Etsy.
The good news? There are everyday strategies you can do to strengthen this mental muscle. Just like you’d need to build up your cardiovascular endurance before crushing that 5K, you need to work your self-efficacy in small ways to see lasting results, says Brian Licuanan, PhD, a California-based clinical psychologist and author of . Science backs this up, too: A 2020 study of medical students showed building up self-efficacy improved academic results. And self-efficacy was the strongest predictor for student success, according to a 2012 study.
How To Assess Your Self-Efficacy Level
The way you speak to yourself, especially in the face of obstacles, is an easy way to gauge your own sense of self-efficacy, says Thea Gallagher, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at NYU Langone Health. A person with low self-efficacy will discount their achievements and blame themselves if they believe they made an error. “[They] might say, ‘Yeah, I did that thing, but other people could do it better,’ or ‘I didn’t do a great job,’ or ‘It wasn’t that hard,’” Gallagher says. “They add disclaimers to accomplishments and double down on the negative self-talk.”
On the other end of the spectrum, a person with high self-efficacy has grace for their mistakes and speaks kindly to themselves, like they might talk to a friend. In the face of failure, they tend to recognise their error and start fresh with a new plan. It’s about the bounce back, not the setback.
FYI: This doesn’t mean someone with high self-efficacy thinks they are perfect, says Gallagher. “It’s about keeping track of the thing you do that you’re proud of, or that might be a little bit hard for you.” And those who have high self-efficacy still need to work toward their goals, adds Licuanan. If you want to participate in Dry January, for example, you shouldn’t celebrate New Year’s Eve with a bottle of tequila and expect to wake up the next morning a new person. For your belief in yourself to work and, ultimately, help you achieve your goals, you need to start by breaking those goals down into small, realistic steps, he says.
Self-Efficacy Vs. Self-Esteem: Many people either haven’t heard of self-efficacy or conflate it with self-esteem or self-confidence, says Licuanan. “[But] Self-esteem, or confidence, is just a general feeling of one’s worth and meaningfulness.” Self-esteem tends to be based on overall emotion toward oneself, whereas self-efficacy is tied to motivation, achievement and success. Learning to use your self-esteem and/or general sense of meaning in the world, can also strengthen that self-efficacy muscle, too. For example, think about your place in your world as you go about your daily tasks. This will help you recognise that others rely on you and you make a meaningful impact, says Licuanan, and keeping that top of mind is motivating.
Ahead, the experts share six ways to build up your sense of self-efficacy every day:
1. Start a to-do list of all of your tasks and cross them off as you finish
While you may take it for granted that when your alarm goes off each morning, you work out, hop in the shower and make breakfast – before heading to work for the day – taking a moment to acknowledge and celebrate your “micro successes” can help beginners build up their self-efficacy, says Licuanan. “From fixing your bed to being able to eat meals and go to the gym, we take those as routine activities, but those are highly successful activities.”
Start taking stock of your micro successes by writing a to-do list for you do in a day and cross the tasks off as you finish them. Once you watch all those little wins pile up, you’ll be more willing to venture outside of your comfort zone and tackle bigger life goals, he says.
2. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself
As mentioned, self-talk plays a big role in building up a strong sense of self-efficacy. If your inner monologue is a bit negative, it can be understandably difficult to believe in your own success. This is where positive affirmations come in, the experts say. Something as simple as repeating ‘I will be more positive, I am patient, I am successful’ to yourself can have a profound impact on your mental state, says Licuanan. And while it may seem silly to repeat something, especially a phrase you may not believe in, what you are actually doing is subconsciously rewiring your brain by creating new neurological pathways. Over time, your brain will begin to truly believe what you’re telling yourself. It happens slowly, says Stern, but it is powerful.
3. Journal
Writing about your day, what is going on and how you feel about it all can be helpful here, says Stern. You can start by observing how you speak about yourself in your writing or begin to catalogue your wins throughout the day – from catching the early bus to having a great night out with your bestie. Taking the time to slow down and appreciate the positive moments happening in your life can help build up your self-efficacy.
READ MORE: 15 Best Journalling Apps To Start The New Year With More Mindfulness
4. Look at the evidence
If you tend to think in extremes (meaning, you’re either the worst or the best at everything with no room for nuance), pausing and questioning yourself can help you switch your self-talk, says Gallagher. Say you have a goal of drinking more water each day. Instead of questioning why you can’t get it together, look at the evidence. Are you making it easy to stay hydrated by bringing a water bottle with you? Are you speaking to yourself kindly, even when you realise at 6 p.m. you haven’t sipped anything other than cold brew?
These are all steps in a positive direction and, although they may seem small, they matter. Looking at this evidence and giving yourself a pat on the back for trying is important, Gallagher says. Examining the facts versus what you’re telling yourself can illuminate differences in your narrative vs reality, helping you to get back and/or stay on track.
5. Listen to positive messages like motivational talks and podcasts
Listening to stories from people who have overcome hardship to achieve their goals can also help expand your perspective. Seeing that other people, just like yourself, have survived their own struggles and emerged stronger can fortify your belief in your own success. Watching Ted Talks or motivational speeches on YouTube or incorporating an inspirational podcast into your daily routine is an easy way to build up your sense of self-efficacy, says Licuanan.
READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age
6. Write down a list of your strengths
An easy way to shut your inner sh*t talker up is to have a list of things you love about yourself in your back pocket. Take a few moments to write down your personal strengths, says Stern, whether on a piece of paper or in the Notes app of your phone. Maybe you are a good friend or a hard worker. When your inner monologue tells you otherwise, refer back to this list. Bonus points if you keep it on your phone, wallet, or somewhere else easily accessible.
While believing in yourself isn’t always easy, developing and maintaining a strong sense of self-efficacy can help you achieve more and live a fuller life. So, next time you see a cheesy sign or cross-stitched pillow with the words “believe in yourself,” take a moment and let that sink in. After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, who will?
