I discovered what an orgasm was thanks to the ever-so-popular NARS blush. I remember watching a makeup video on YouTube, and the girl in the video said (and I quote), “This is the grossest name for a blush. Like ew? But at least the color is pretty.” And off I went to Urban Dictionary land. “Interesting…”
Well, that was sixth grade, and I’ve learned a lot more about sex since then. (Just read our sex archives — that’s my claim to fame!) The female body is amazing. It can do so much. From pushing out a literal human to bouncing back after pain to somehow making it through a week of bleeding, we are superhuman.
Orgasms are another example of a powerful thing the female body can do. So, I was incredibly surprised to find out not all women have multiple orgasms. Some people even think it’s a myth! WHAT!!
I am here to tell you: ladies, it is NOT a myth.
Multiple orgasms mean different things for everyone. For some women, it’s getting orgasm after orgasm with little time in-between. For others, it’s getting multiple orgasms within one “round.” Whatever it means for you, it’s awesome. However, not everyone has been so lucky.
Just because it seems like foreign territory to you doesn’t mean it can’t happen. These tips will help you get there. You, too, can achieve the sex everyone hopes for.
Stay lubricated
OK, I try to keep these as PG-13 as possible, but you get what I’m trying to say. Keeping your body naturally lubricated is key to keeping up the momentum and staying aroused. Also, you can periodically add lube as you need it!
Don’t focus solely on penetration
While some of us can easily orgasm through penetration, many can’t, and that’s OK. It also can be more difficult to focus entirely on penetration when you’re trying to have multiple orgasms. Mixing it up and going back and forth between penetration, clitoral stimulation, and oral (if you’re into that!) sex can both keep you aroused and make sure you don’t get used to one sensation.
Adding sex toys to the mix can be a great way to add clitoral stimulation while keeping up the pace with your partner. A wand or suction vibrator is easy without being intimidating or awkward to use with a partner.
Don’t tell your partner to stop
If you’re trying to orgasm with a partner, don’t tell them to stop or pull away as soon as you have your first orgasm. Many of us feel like we have to focus on the other person as soon as we orgasm. Wrong! Allow them to keep going and keep reminding them what feels good.
Multiple orgasms mean different things for everyone. For some women, it’s getting orgasm after orgasm with little time in-between. For others, it’s getting multiple orgasms within one “round.” Whatever it means for you, it’s awesome.
Be calm
Everyone knows that having an orgasm when you’re all tensed up is impossible (or at least very difficult). The same goes for having multiple orgasms.
Be honest with your partner about what you want
Orgasming with a partner isn’t a one-way street. Both people have to be involved and understanding of what the other wants to make it happen. Be open with your partner about what you want and what makes you climax. It’s absolutely OK to give your partner detailed, specific instructions for what you want. As long as they’re cool with it, tell ‘em how it’s done.
Try new positions
If the first position gets you there, you can try to keep doing the same thing in hopes for the same result. However, you can also try other positions. This could give you new sensations and keep the spontaneity. If you want to add clitoral stimulation to the mix, try positions like doggy-style and missionary that allow you to stimulate the clitoris while also having penetrative sex.
Instead of staying in bed the entire time, move around! Go to the kitchen, the shower, the bathroom; try having sex in the car or on your back patio (without getting arrested, of course). Going somewhere than your usual helps you change up your routine and scenery, helping to keep sex exciting and encourages you to stay aroused. Don’t be afraid to try new things or things you might initially think are “weird.”
Take a break
It’s OK (and sometimes a good idea) to stop and take a breather. If you have to wait a second to get back into round two, no worries. Build your stamina back up, and get back to it when you’re ready.
