Raphael Stevens

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    in health and weelbeing

    The Hacks My Therapist Taught Me That I’m Using to Make 2021 My Best Year Yet

    After the complete dumpster fire of a year 2020 was, I was sure as hell due for a sit-down with a therapist (virtual, luckily). Everything “seemed” to be going just fine in my life, and I really had nothing on the surface to complain about. This year really put into perspective that having a job and housing, being healthy, and having a few close friends and family members are really all you need in life; the rest is just extra. So, why the heck was I so depressed? For one, I don’t want to downplay the absolute role of ~brain chemicals~ in all of this. I’ve suffered from clinical depression for as long as I can remember; the pendulum suddenly swings opposite my favor every now and then solely because my brain feels like it, and as much as I can try to meditate and journal and do yoga and become a freaking zen master, I’ll still deal with depression. But there are times when my anxiety and depression can stand for a little upgrade, and that’s where talking to a therapist about coping mechanisms comes into play. 
    I’ve long been aware of the concept of limiting beliefs: those thoughts you believe about yourself to be utterly true even though they’re almost rarely based in facts. I can tell my friends up and down when they’re speaking through a limiting belief or they’re making up ideas assuming them as truths. But when it comes to myself… LOL. I don’t have such a handle on how negative thoughts can be so all-consuming. 

    I can tell my friends up and down when they’re speaking through a limiting belief or they’re making up ideas assuming them as truths. But when it comes to myself… LOL.

    I have limiting beliefs about all kinds of things. “They’ll think I’m weak and unstable” if I open up or get vulnerable with people, or I “can’t meet a partner until I lose weight, because no one would want to be with me as I am now” are examples of really specific ones I have. But they also come up naturally: “I could never start a business,” “I’m not good at that,” “I’m bad at relationships.” I have limiting beliefs about my performance at work, my friendships, my relationship with my family, my habits, my productivity—you name it, and I’ve probably created a false reality about it in my head. Limiting beliefs can even be pretty specious, to the point that you might not even recognize at first that it isn’t actually factual.
    After a few sessions, my therapist caught on to a few of them and suggested I start reframing these thoughts. At first, I was like, “Yeah, sure, that’ll work.” In practice, it doesn’t seem like it could be that effective. “I’m bad at everything” becomes “I am open-minded and try everything, which makes it hard for me to become a master at any one thing.” But when we got more specific and took more time to focus on how I could reframe that thought, fireworks went off. Immediately, I noticed that my mood and ability to cope with negative emotions improved. 

    I have limiting beliefs about my performance at work, my friendships, my relationship with my family, my habits, my productivity—you name it, and I’ve probably created a false reality about it in my head.

    Since this has helped me so much the last couple of months, I’m ramping it up in 2021. The positive, healthy, mentally-well me has arrived! Here are a few ways I’ve used thought-reframing to manage my emotions and adjust the self-talk I experience, plus a few tips you can use to make 2021 your healthiest mental year yet:

    Keep A Journal
    My therapist recommended I dedicate a journal entirely for thought reframing. She said that when I have really negative thoughts that seem to pervade me—or even as time goes on, focusing on the little thoughts that come up throughout the day—to immediately write them down. And don’t judge yourself. If your first thought is that you suck and are the worst person ever, same! The whole point is noticing how often you have these thoughts. It makes sense why we’d feel down or sad if we’re constantly telling ourselves that we do, in fact, suck. 
    Then, at the end of the day or week, I go through all of the thoughts I’ve compiled and work on how I would reframe them. And when I really need a minute to calm down and regroup, I’ll do it right there, sometimes in the notes app on my phone. This has been a game-changer for me. I slowly am starting to see patterns in my thinking and discovering how I’ve managed let these intrusive thoughts take over for so long. 
    Some examples of thoughts I’ve reframed:
    “I look so ugly today” → “I’m really proud of how I did my hair and makeup today.”
    “I never have any good ideas” → “I prioritize ideation, and it’s a skill that I’m proud of at work.” 
    “I’m a bad employee because I missed a deadline” → “I am working so hard to produce work that is high-quality, and sometimes that is sacrificial.”
    “I’ll never meet someone unless I lose weight” → “I want someone to love me for me as I am right now, not someone who wants a different version of me.”

    If your first thought is that you suck and are the worst person ever, same! The whole point is noticing how often you have these thoughts. It makes sense why we’d feel down or sad if we’re constantly telling ourselves that we do, in fact, suck. 

    Source: rawpixel

    Try hot-to-cool thinking
    When reframing an entire thought seems a little daunting, hot-to-cool thinking is what my therapist recommended. Basically, instead of going from “I’m the worst” to “I’m the best!” you go from “I’m the worst” to “I’m working on it.” We don’t have to immediately love ourselves; that takes time. And even if you do love yourself, you get tripped up and have negative thoughts, maybe even often. It’s human, unfortunately, to be hard on ourselves and go to a negative place when we want to avoid feeling an emotion we don’t like, such as jealousy, sadness, fear, or anger. So, simply cool down your thoughts.
    Some other examples: 
    “I’m bad at my job” →  “I’m facing a few new challenges right now.” 
    “I’ll always be single” → “Being single doesn’t feel great right now. I would like to work on meeting someone.” 
    “I’m ugly” →  “Everyone has different taste; who I find attractive is not the same as who someone else does. Because of this, looks are so subjective.” 
    “I’ll never have enough money to live comfortably” → “I can provide myself the necessities right now, but I’ll have to find another stream of income to have extra spending money.”

    It’s human, unfortunately, to be hard on ourselves and go to a negative place when we want to avoid feeling an emotion we don’t like, such as jealousy, sadness, fear, or anger.

    Recognize when an intrusive thought is taking over
    The second you start to recognize that you’re catastrophizing or getting stuck in a loop of limiting beliefs, simply recognize it. Notice how it feels. Are your palms sweaty? Did you tense up? Is your posture hunched? Do you feel a temperature change? For one, when we can see how our body naturally responds to stress, it’s easier to understand how and why it’s not good for us. When you notice your jaw lock during a particularly stressful day and you move around to try to help it, there’s an immediate release involved. 

    Notice how it feels. Are your palms sweaty? Did you tense up? Is your posture hunched? Do you feel a temperature change?

    But there’s also importance in recognizing the thought so you can give yourself compassion. My therapist is constantly telling me to just stop and place my hand on my heart. Engage in self-compassion and love. Remind yourself that it’s OK to feel negative emotions. This alone has been a game-changer, and it’s so simple and can be done anytime, anywhere.   More

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    in beauty and fashion

    7 Things You Should Clean Out From Your Closet This Year

    If you’re anything like me, you have an over-stuffed closet full of things you haven’t worn in five years. I recently went on a closet rampage and cleaned out bags and bags of clothes to send to Goodwill, and If I’m being honest, I haven’t missed anything I gave away. If you’re also about to take on an intense closet intervention or want to embrace the capsule wardrobe trend, here are seven things you should definitely clean out of your closet this year.

    1. The same shirt in 4 different colors
    Yes, I also grew up in an era where if a shirt fit, you had to buy it in seven colors. But you do not need those kinds of options, and they can end up leaving you with an overstuffed closet full of things you never wear. If you have duplicate pieces, pull them all out, line them up, and choose the one you wear the most consistently. There are an infinite amount of outfit possibilities—let’s not limit ourselves to the same T-shirt five days a week.

    2. Clothing that’s too small or too big
    It’s easy to hold out for the day you’ll squeeze back into the expensive sweater we accidentally shrunk it in the dryer. But you’re cultivating a wardrobe to wear now, and unless you turn back time to being 13 or preventing the dryer fiasco, it’s time to let it go. The same goes for the dress you bought two sizes too big because you loved the print. I know it can be difficult to let go of pieces you may love or spent a lot of money on, but it’s important to be realistic and keep in mind the “quality, not quantity” type of wardrobe you want. Look at these pieces and ask yourself what makes them special and worth keeping. Could you get it tailored to correctly fit? Could you resell it online? If not, it’s time to donate it.

    3. Worn-out bras that are barely hanging on
    I’m not talking about your delicate lace bra that gets pulled out on special occasions; I’m talking about the stretched-out T-shirt bra you bought at target two years ago that’s barely in one piece. It’s hard to let go of the bra you’ve been living in for years, but a good rule of thumb is to go through your undergarments once a year to weed out the ones that need to go. Then, treat yourself to a couple of new bras and a proper fitting. You can also drastically lengthen the life of your bra by proper care.
    A few tips:

    Don’t fold your bras to save storage space as it can deform the cups over time.

    Always wash in warm water and rinse in cool. Hot water can warp your bra.

    NEVER put your bra in the dryer. Always hang dry.

    Buy bras that fit snug on the very last hooks. Then while the band naturally stretches over time, you can slowly move to tighter hooks to keep the same fit.

    4. The outfit you once really loved, but is now abandoned in the back of your closet
    We all have outfits we used to adore that we haven’t touched in months. The dress and jacket I once wore three times a week and prized above all are now gathering dust from lack of affection. We all go through style changes, but when it’s clear you’re no longer interested, it’s time to let it go. Pieces can still be versatile and maybe you just need to style that leather vest in a new way, but if you’ve tried it in different outfits and still don’t find yourself utilizing it? Let it go.

    5. All those freebie T-shirts, hats, and tote bags
    Over time, we can easily build up a collection of random shirts, hats, and bags covered in festival logos and local advertisements. You and I both know you stick to the same five worn-in T-shirts. As you go through these pieces, really ask yourself why you haven’t worn it and would you really ever wear it. Yes, it seems nice to have an array of hat options and totes for the unexpected adventure, but by giving away what you don’t need, you’ll open up a lot more space in your closet to see what you have and will actually be worn.

    6. Anything you haven’t worn in over six months
    I understand this is a hard rule with changing seasons. Maybe you just haven’t gotten the chance to rock that sundress since you’ve been stuck in sweaters for months, but I’m talking about the beautiful silk blouse you bought for that date last year that you’ve still never worn. Face it, you’re probably not going to wear it. If you’re still struggling with what to keep, look at each piece and ask yourself these questions:
    Does it flatter my shape or complexion?
    Can I see it pairing well with the rest of my wardrobe?
    Do I still love it?
    Does it still fit?
    Do I feel comfortable in it?
    Would I buy it again if I saw it in stores now?
    Is it damaged?
    Why haven’t I worn it?

    7. Anything that you’ve been telling yourself you would repair and haven’t
    If you’ve had the piece longer than six weeks and haven’t gotten it hemmed, cleaned, etc., it’s safe to say you never will. Don’t hold on to an amazing dress that will just sit in your closet because it’s made for a woman who’s 6’0 and you’re 5’3″. If you love the piece, make an appointment and get the dress hemmed for your height. If you’re holding on to a pair of jeans that need to be patched, get them patched this week or send them to Goodwill. They are just taking up space in your already overcrowded closet.

    Prepare for next year
    To stay on top of your wardrobe, a great way to continue keeping up with getting rid of the things you should is to flip all of your coat hangers in your closet in the opposite direction at the beginning of the year. Every time you wear something, swap it to face the other way. Then at the end of next year, you’ll be able to clearly see the things you haven’t touched and can more easily justify getting rid of them without any debate. More

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    in health and weelbeing

    8 Tips for a Successful and Easy Whole30—From Someone Who’s Done It

    Last January, I completed my Everest; the thing I’d been saying I’d do for years, but never actually pulled the trigger on: finishing Whole30. My reason for doing Whole30 was simple: I have an absolutely horrible stomach, and my doctor had been begging me to do an elimination diet for literal years. But it never felt like a perfect time to do it (newsflash: it will never be a perfect time to do it), and then one day, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided it was time to try to figure out my food sensitivities once and for all. 
    Throughout my experience, I had a lot of highs and even more lows, but I did finish the whole 30 days and learned a lot along the way. Thinking of doing Whole30 yourself? Here’s how to survive it while suffering a little less than I did:

    1. Know why you’re doing it
    Despite what you might think, Whole30 is not a weight-loss diet. You don’t count calories or restrict carbs or anything of the sort, and you’re strongly advised to not weigh yourself during the entire process—because it isn’t the point! The point is to take a step back to evaluate how you’re eating, find out what makes you feel good, and nourish your body with real foods for a while. If you’re thinking of doing it for weight loss, it probably isn’t for you.

    2. Give yourself time to prepare before you start
    Want to know how my Whole30 journey began? The day after Christmas of 2019, I decided January was going to be the time I finally did Whole30. I went to the grocery store to get all of the ingredients I needed, and while I was at the grocery store, realized everything I had eaten so far that day was Whole30 compliant. I thought, “Why waste a day?” and decided to start right there with no preparation.
    Any Whole30 veteran will tell you that this should have been a fatal mistake. In my opinion, all of your success is going to ride on whether or not you’re prepared. If I could go back, I would have given myself a full week ahead of my start date for preparation. I could use basically nothing that I had in my fridge (condiments, butter, the works), and making sure you’re stocked with things that are compliant is absolutely key. Research recipes, come up with a meal calendar, and go into it ready to go. I can’t recommend the Whole30 Book enough to help with this.

    3. Meal prep, meal prep, meal prep
    Whether or not you’re usually a meal prepper, preparing your meals before you need them is so, so important. When you inevitably have situations where you’re hungry and ready for a meal, needing to figure out a Whole30 compliant meal is truly hell. If you really don’t like meal prepping, at least have your ingredients cut up and stored in your fridge and know what meals you’re going to be eating a few days out. 

    3. Mentally prepare for how you’re going to feel
    Think you’re going to immediately have clear skin and feel like you can run a marathon? Guess again. 
    A few days into Whole30, I literally felt like I was going to die. I was completely lethargic and could have slept all day, every day—and that’s how you’re supposed to feel. One of my favorite things about The Whole30 book is that it breaks down how you’re going to feel every day, and it’s completely spot-on. You aren’t going to feel good until at least halfway through, and getting to that point is really tough (most people quit around day 10-11 because that’s when you feel the worst).
    You’d think that eating exclusively whole foods would make you feel amazing, but your body is going to withdraw from the things it’s used to (looking at you, sugar), and there’s no getting around the slump you’ll feel those first two weeks. I, of course, didn’t know this before I started, but once I got the book and could track how I was supposed to feel each day, the process got much easier.

    4. Stock up on compliant condiments
    Whole30 has been around for quite some time, which luckily means that many health food companies have gotten on board and created condiments and sauces that are made exclusively with Whole30-compliant ingredients. 
    My personal favorite compliant brand is Primal Kitchen—a year later, I still use mostly their condiments because they taste so good and are an easy, healthier swap. (Pro tip: their chipotle mayo was my favorite thing throughout the entire process!)

    5. Have snacks ready in case of emergency
    Yes, one of the rules of Whole30 is that snacking isn’t allowed, but sometimes, things happen, and you literally just need to get something into your stomach. It is absolutely vital to have things on-hand for when that happens. It’s probably going to be a handful of nuts or an Rx bar (not all Rx bars are compliant—I’d recommend researching which ones are beforehand and ordering yourself a full box of them).

    6. Get a handle on what’s allowed—and what’s not
    Hours and hours of your Whole30 are going to be spent reading nutrition labels. I cannot tell you how much time I spent on Whole30 looking at the labels of everything I picked up and then needing to research specific ingredients to see if they’re allowed. Of course, you aren’t going to memorize an entire list of allowed ingredients (especially since some are so weird and sound forbidden), but getting a handle on the common ones will save you loads of time throughout the journey.

    The 30 Whole Days app is magic for one reason: it has a function where you can scan the barcode on a food container, and it will tell you whether or not it’s allowed. It doesn’t have every food under the sun, but it also has a search bar where you can research a specific ingredient and it will tell you whether or not it’s approved. It is so much easier than constantly turning to your book or going through Google trying to figure out if something is allowed. 

    8. Remember that it’s only 30 days
    Whole30 is tough—really, really tough. I struggled quite a bit through mine and am adamant about never doing it again. But it helped me figure out my food sensitivities, and it’s important to remember that it’s only 30 days of your life—and you can do anything for 30 days. Doing Whole30 once changed my relationship with food and knowledge of what makes my body feel good so much, and even though it was a struggle, it was very much worth it.  More

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    in beauty and fashion

    New Year’s Sucks When You’re Plus-Size—Here’s How to Manage the Weight Loss Pressure

    Every New Year’s Eve on the dot, I grab a fresh new notebook and write some goals. And you might be surprised to know that even as a proud, plus-size woman who is in recovery for an eating disorder, without fail, “lose weight” always weasels its way onto the list. Somehow, I always manage to convince myself after years of trying and failing that “this year will be the year!” And almost always, it doesn’t start with me creating a workout plan or trying to become healthier; I retreat to negative emotions and behaviors that mimic disordered eating patterns I thought I’d left in the past.
    But why do I make this lofty goal every single year? Because we’re told it’s the #1 goal to make, especially if you’re overweight (which, might I add, is so subjective and means very little about someone’s overall health). Every year, we see commercials, ads, magazines, articles, and more about the best ways to lose weight, how to drop the pounds (usually with some form of “finally!” or “once and for all!”), and I expect in 2020, how to lose all the weight you gained in quarantine. And as a plus-size person, it’s damn exhausting. 

    We’re inundated with reasons why looking like us is a problem
    It’s one thing to make a goal to get healthier. I think it’s a goal most of us should have every year. We could all stand to drink a little more water, try therapy, find a new vegetable you love, and hit a fitness goal or milestone. But as a plus-size person, seeing hundreds of people on social media, in ads, and more make it their #1 goal for the year to lose 10, 15, 20 pounds just makes us feel like our bodies are wrong.
    Of course, it’s optimal to want to feel and look your best; and for many people, losing weight helps them do that. I don’t want to take that away. But it’s always rooted in fatphobia. People are horrified that they’ve gained weight because being anything but thin is the worst thing there is. This time of the year, it feels like I’m being thrown reason after reason why my body isn’t what people want to look at. 

    This time of the year, it feels like I’m being thrown reason after reason why my body isn’t what people want to look at. 

    Not making a weight loss goal is often seen as “brave”
    But then, we have the people who want to call us out when we don’t make a weight loss goal. When I say that my #1 goal of the year is to love myself, regardless of my size or how I look, people respond as if sharing my authentic self is courageous and brave, when I don’t have a choice. Why are we brave for simply choosing to not give into the pressures of diet culture? Why is it brave to not have the mental capacity to try keto or paleo or whatever random diet being shoved down our throats in that blip in time? I’m not brave for choosing to love myself instead of promote the thin ideal, and to say so makes the point that wanting to lose weight should just be the norm, when in fact we should be actively moving away from that ideal.

    My body constantly looks like a before picture
    We’ve probably all seen the memes about “expectations and reality” on Instagram, sharing how posing can make your body look different. I appreciate and love the message that all bodies are beautiful, and I think it’s important to see that even people you think are the most beautiful and thin have insecurities. But as a fat person, I don’t have the option to pose in a way that makes it look like I don’t have rolls or so you can’t see my double chin—my natural body looks like the before picture for some of these memes. The body positivity movement was created by fat people, for fat people, and it’s frustrating to see these posts that are still entirely rooted in diet culture and white thin privilege be spouted as “loving oneself.” It’s crushing to constantly see a body that looks like mine be torn apart or told that it’s wrong; that having love handles is undesirable, that the sheer nature of becoming thinner will make you a happier person, when my body looks just like all of these pictures we’re supposed to be disgusted by. 
    Like I said, I want people to be healthy and happy, and I cannot deny that for some, losing weight can be a healthy process that makes them feel better about themselves physically and mentally. If losing weight is something you can do in a healthy way, I’m so into it. And having before pictures to recognize your progress might be a good tool for you to use. But watch how you talk about yourself in them. You were beautiful before; there was nothing aesthetically wrong with your body before. 

    When people we already deem as thin are told to lose weight, it sets the ideal that even thin bodies aren’t good enough
    Since I was young, I’ve had a hard time discerning how someone who’s already thin could be insecure. My weight has been a topic of anxiety my whole life; how could one possibly feel bad about themself if they already have everything I’ve ever wanted? But when it’s a goal for everyone to lose weight, what’s the ideal? If thin bodies aren’t good enough, what does that make mine? It feels like I’m chasing after something I can’t even achieve because even once you achieve it, you’re expected to do more, be more. 

    So, how can you deal? 
    There’s no way for us to get around New Year’s resolutions, but there are ways to handle the season without feeling like the punchline all the time.

    Set boundaries with loved ones

    If you have loved ones who make comments about weight often, engage in assertive communication about how it affects you. There’s nothing worse than working on something within yourself all to have to deal with the people around you not understanding it. Set boundaries for the communication you have with each other, whether it’s talking about meals, health goals, how much or how little you’re eating, how much activity you’re engaging in, and more. 

    Set intentions

    When you feel the weight loss pressure come along as you’re working on being healthier, it’s important to set really clear intentions for yourself. What do you truly want to accomplish? “Get healthier” might feel like an easy goal, but it’s easy to get jumbled. Make this goal tangible, like do 10 pull-ups or eat more protein three times a week for a month. 

    Address all-or-nothing thinking

    When you feel yourself leaning into the mindset that someone smaller than you wanting to lose weight has a reflection of your own self-worth, it’s time to reassess your focus. Is there fact in what you’re thinking, or are you creating this narrative in your head because you’re self-conscious? Therapy is a great tool to learn coping mechanisms to help with this type of thinking, or I love journaling. More

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    in health and weelbeing

    Every Hack I’m Actually Trying to Get Healthier in 2021

    I started 2020 pretty strong. I went to my gym about four days a week. I was trying new recipes. I started a bullet journal. I felt very prepared to take on the next decade of my life. And yada yada, one thing led to another, and here I was, July 2020, and I, like many others, had fallen off. For the record, there was a global pandemic, but I wasn’t doing so hot. I reignited myself, made some updated goals that fit the times, and went on my merry way. I’m here to say: I feel 100 times better now than I did then, and I’m carrying that same fervor into the new year. But I’ll be the first to admit: health “trends” are not my jam. I need something that’s going to stick. I don’t want to completely overhaul my life and routine, and I’ll never dare give up socializing over food and alcohol. So, what’s a girl to do? Here are the health hacks I’m actually planning to implement into my life in 2021. 

    1. “32 Before Brew”
    I saw this on Instagram a while ago, and it has changed my life; however, after the holiday season, I’m sure I’ll need to reassign this goal to myself. Basically, it’s the idea that you drink 32 ounces of water before you drink your cup of coffee in the morning, which I found genius. It’s an easy, pretty straightforward concept, but I love that it gets me drinking water first thing, and it reminds me to keep drinking water after I’ve had my coffee. If I don’t drink water during the workday, it’s so hard to catch up and drink enough later, and this keeps me accountable all day, starting with the morning.

    Source: @lolaomonaija

    2. Controlling volume instead of portions
    I will never be someone who eats like a bird. If I’m eating a meal, I’m eating a meal; that’s all I’m going to say. But adjusting portion sizes is often a recommended hack for being able to still enjoy all the foods you love without eating in excess. Instead, I’m opting to try focusing on the volume of food I’m consuming versus how much. I can eat an entire plate of pasta, but I also want to bulk up the meal with protein, a side salad, and a big glass of water. I feel fuller, faster, and it builds my meals upon nutrients rather than going into it controlling how much I’m eating, which can often lead me to disordered eating. If I want to go get McDonald’s, I’ll drink a lot of water and add extra veggies or protein to my cheeseburger (highly recommend—one of the best hacks I’ve ever seen is asking for double meat and splitting the sandwich in half to eat two open-faced sandwiches!). 

    3. Finding alternatives to the foods I crave
    If I tell myself that I can’t have pizza or pasta or chips, it’s all I’ll want, and it’ll lead to a binge. Always. No foods are “bad,” so I can easily find or make alternatives to my favorites that feel better (and sometimes taste better too!). Currently, I’m loving MyBizzyKitchen’s healthier pizza dough recipe, I’ve swapped regular chips for baked versions (Peetos are my current favorite spicy chip alternative!), and I’m using the above hack to enjoy pasta and other foods that are easy to overindulge in. 

    Source: @gabbywhiten

    4. Creating “ceremony” in the evenings
    Mental health is important as well, and it’s especially necessary to create goals around this too. A therapist once recommended creating “ceremony” around normal day-to-day routines as a way to reorient your brain into a specific task and make these feel like an event more than another thing to tick off your to-do list. 
    One way I want to practice this is through working from home and separating my workday from my evening. When the clock strikes 6 p.m., I’m closing the computer, lighting a candle, drinking something other than water (see the next tip!), and reading 30 pages of a book, or maybe I’ll watch a YouTube video or an episode of a show. (As long as it’s not work or scrolling on my phone, I’m game!) I want to create a ceremony, or a ritual, around ending the workday. When I light the candle next to my bedside, it’s time to finish work for the night. 

    5. Swapping to a different drink in the evening
    Drinking water is not my strong suit. I have to really force myself to stay hydrated, especially working from home because it’s easy to sit at my desk and not fill up my water bottle all day. So, I’m taking a slightly different approach to fixing that problem this year, and it’s allowing myself to drink anything but water in the evenings. Don’t get me wrong, I will still drink water with dinner, to take my medicine before bed, or just simply to sip throughout the night. But right after work ends, whether I’m hankering for a bubbly soda, sparkling water, or an adult libation, I’m letting myself have it instead of forcing myself to stick to water only. It encourages me to stick to water as much of the day as I can, but I know I can “indulge” with something else to change it up.

    Source: @theplussizedprep

    6. Create challenges for workouts
    Motivating yourself to workout at home when the gym isn’t an option is hard. Why would I push hard if no one can see me? Why would I create or follow a routine if I don’t have to? There’s nothing holding me back from stopping in the middle of a workout just because I don’t feel like it. So to keep myself motivated and inspired, I’m creating challenges for myself. I’ll tell myself to work out three times a week, and then after I do that for four weeks straight, I push it to four days a week. Maybe I’ll try to do yoga every day for seven days straight, and then the next week I focus on doing 20 minutes of cardio a day. Making these small, reachable goals every week rather than some overarching goal of “work out more” is much easier to follow and accomplish.

    7. Keep your phone in another room while sleeping 
    I can’t be the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night, checks their phone, and ends up staying awake for way too long because I end up scrolling for no reason at all. I really try to limit how much I use my phone before bed, but if I keep it next to me, I’ll inevitably use it any time I wake up (including first thing in the morning). By keeping it away from my bed, I’d have to get up to grab my phone if I want to use it, and when I’m half-asleep at 4 a.m., that’s unlikely to happen. Prioritizing better sleep is a major goal of mine in 2021, and I’m trying this first!
    This hack also might help me hit snooze less because I’ll have to get up to turn the alarm off. Win-win!

    Source: @crystalinmarie

    8. Add movement into every part of your routine
    If starting from no workouts to five a week feels daunting (for one, it is!), try just adding different forms of movement into every part of your day. Turn on some music (maybe a glass of wine!), and dance around the kitchen while you cook dinner. Maybe you do some stretches from the couch while watching your favorite show. You could try setting a timer during the day to get up and get more water and move around for 10 minutes. You don’t have to follow an eight-week intense HIIT program to feel the benefits of moving your body more, and finding small ways to add that in (especially while working from home) is beneficial too. More

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    in lifestyle and culture

    Creative Director of Fine Blooms on creating a fine finish

    Words: Diyana Hakmi

    December’s – ‘The Party Issue’ – Download Now
    Chloe Szukilojc’s approaches creating fine floral arrangement with a daring eye for the unusual.
    What do your first 30 minutes of the day look like?

    When I am up, I like to head to the gym or clean my house while listening to a podcast. I find this so therapeutic. I love coming home to a fresh, clean house because my days can be so busy that I need to be in a clear space when I return home. I try to take some time for myself in the morning because this is the only time in my day where I able to do so. I have become addicted to podcasts and it allows me the space to not focus on everything else, even for a short time.
    Tell us about your role as Creative Director of Fine Blooms.
    I love my job so much. There are so many different aspects of my role and every day is different from the next. I spend a lot of time sourcing and ordering flowers as most of our products come from our suppliers in Holland. Making sure the flowers are here on time for events and orders is essential. The role is ever-changing, we all help out and work together as a team and this is key for the success of any business.
    How did you know you wanted to be a florist?

    I have always wanted to do something creative. I always excelled in textiles, design and art at school. My passion for flowers came from a young age, and as I grew older, I become more confident in pursuing my dream. Being a florist then, isn’t the same as it is now, back then it would have been very uncommon to leave school and do what I do. Now I think floristry is more exclusive, it’s like an art practice.
    What has been the biggest challenge since launching and how did you overcome this?
    I relocated to Dubai at the end of February of this year and three weeks later, we went into lockdown. Not only was I in a completely new country and in a new role, but also in the middle of a global pandemic. There have been some tough times, but honestly, the good far outweighs the bad. I feel very proud of how Fine Blooms has excelled this year.
    Which flower is your favourite, and why?
    This is honestly the most challenging question, and it changes every season. By the end of the peony season, I’m ready to see something new but when they come back, I’m in love again. That’s what’s so great about my job; things are always changing all the time. Currently, I cannot live without chocolate cosmos. They look like chocolate and smell exactly like chocolate.

    Which floral trends are the most popular in the region?
    Floristry is like fashion, and any other face paced moving industry. Trends are continually changing and evolving. I think people in the region are now looking for something different, usual and unique. When we create our wildest designs, that’s usually what gets the most attention.
    How should you look after your floral arrangements?
    Lots of water! Fill your vase right to the top as flowers drink super quickly, especially when it’s hot, and if you receive a bouquet the stems can be different lengths. So, to avoid any dying off quicker than the others, make sure to fill right to the top of the vase and change the water every two days.
    What’s inspires when creating floral designs?
    I take a lot of inspiration from my surroundings. The environment, natural products and landscapes inspire me. I love using the unusual. Over the past year, we’ve used sand, fruit and even salt rocks in our designs. I want to do things differently and show people how to incorporate what you have in your fruit bowl into your dinner party table arrangement set up.
    What key elements should be present in flower arrangements for the festive season, and will you be creating festive wreaths?
    Everyone celebrates the festive season differently, so I think it’s important not to box yourself into the stereotypical designs or colour schemes. We will be focusing heavily on dried flowers this festive season so our customers can keep arrangements in their homes for longer, even through into the New Year.
    Which Instagram accounts do you follow for inspiration?
    @rubymarylennox is a magician. An Australian florist now living in Berlin and taking the floristry world by storm. I gasp every time I see a new post.
    Also, my sister @isabellaszukilojc she is fabulous. She is the Dark Lab’s Marking Director, which holds the most captivating, eye-opening festival every year, Dark Mofo in Hobart, Tasmania. It honestly blows my mind what they do there.

    What advice would you give to your younger self starting?
    Trust your instinct. I spent a few years working in the fashion industry because I thought it was the closest thing I could do the floristry. Obviously, in the end, I wasn’t happy, as it wasn’t where my passion lay. Also, always go for what you want and don’t get too caught up in what’s the traditional route of a career. You can make anything happen if you work hard and believe in yourself. Don’t seek approval from others; it will always hold you back.
    This is ‘The Party Issue’ – how will you be celebrating this year?
    Like many others this year, I won’t be able to make it home to my family and friends back in Australia, which is heartbreaking. Still, I’m trying to make the best out of this situation and take some time off and explore the UAE and spend my first holiday season in my new home with my partner and friends. I’m so looking forward to it. I think the whole world deserves a good break!
    – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
    Images: Supplied More